Balancing School and Social Life: the Story of Sarah

Hi! My name’s Sarah, and I’m in sixth grade. I have always been a straight-A student. That is, until this year.

Ever since the school year began, I’ve been hanging out with my friends every single weekend, and even sometimes on school nights, too. I barely leave myself any time to study or do work anymore, resulting in receiving grades I’ve never had before.

I am super unhappy with these grades. They’ve made me rethink my whole identity. I’ve always been smart, but these results made me doubt myself. So, I hatched a plan. 

“I’m not going to hang out with my friends for a whole week. They’re too much of a distraction,” I told myself. 

It’s a Monday, the beginning of the week. Usually, I’d hang out with my friends Molly, Stacy, and Rebecca after school on a Monday, but not this week. 

At lunch, the girls ask if I can hang out that night, to which I reply,

“No, sorry. I need to study for my Science quiz.” 

They immediately judge me.

“You don't need to study.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Why do you even care? It's just school,” they all say.

I give in and stay at my friend’s house until very late, leaving me no time to study. I decide to just “wing it” during my quiz the next day.

On Thursday, I get my quiz back. I failed. My first ever F. I am immediately extremely regretful of my decisions on Monday. 

“Ok, that’s it. I cannot hang out with my friends anymore,” I tell myself again.

And I don’t. Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday over the next few weeks, I decline my friends' invitations. I frown each of these days, scrolling through social media, looking over the pictures they post together: shopping in the city, the movie theater after school on Friday, and Molly’s birthday party. I wished I could be there and considered accepting their invites, but I held myself back because I knew I could not break my self-promise.

“Socializing is a distraction,” I repeat enough times to somewhat believe it.

Eventually, my friends stop inviting me. My grades improve, but I can’t help but feel left out.

After Stacy and Rebecca’s joint birthday party, which all of my classmates went to except me, I approached my older sister: Mira, a freshman in high school. My sister tells me how the same thing happened to her, and advises me,

“First, speak to your friends about how you’re feeling. I’m sure they’re not leaving you out on purpose,” she says. “When this happened to me, I discovered I needed to find a balance. So, now I let myself hang out with my friends 1-2 nights a week, and I can’t have school or work due the next day when I do it.”

Applying my sister’s advice, I speak to my friends the next day. I explain to them how left out I have been feeling and how I would still want to be invited to hang out. My friends all feel horrible.

“We’re sorry, Sarah. It’s just that we thought you would say no and there was no point,” Stacy says.

“Yeah, we miss hanging out with you,” Molly adds.

“I miss hanging out with you guys, too. And I’m sorry, too. I should’ve told you guys how I was feeling instead of ignoring you all,” I respond.

“It’s okay Sarah, we still love you!” Rebecca reassures, and the other girls agree.

“We’re having a pizza party at my place tonight. You should come!” Stacy offers. 

I think about it for a moment, but, realizing it’s a Friday and I don’t have school tomorrow, exclaim, 

“Great! I’d love that! Order pepperoni for me!”

I go on to have an amazing night with my friends. We run around Rebecca’s backyard playing hide-and-seek for hours, until we’re exhausted and bubbling with giggles. We eat so much pizza we can’t fit in our jeans anymore, and watch movies until we fall asleep. 

I wake up earlier than my friends the next morning. Looking around the room, at my friends, I am filled with immense gratitude for all of them. They have always been by my side, there for me whenever I needed, even when I pushed them away. 

To my joy and relief, Mira was right. A balance between school and friends is possible. It was okay that my friends didn’t want to study as much; that didn’t have to impact my own academic ambitions. I realized that it was important to have a clear grasp on my priorities and boundaries.  For the rest of the year, I had one or two amazing nights with my friends a week, and on the other nights, I studied. 

In the end, I learned how to have fun with my friends while still achieving my goals in school. And so, I obtained the best of both worlds: academic and social success.

THE END